Staff Weanies....The Glue That Greases The Wheels Of Progress
John over at Castle Argggh has a very insightful post into the life of a staff weanie. It reminded me of my January 7 post "What Did You Do In The War Daddy?" Well I was a staff weanie and my job description is below:
I am staff weenie. (This works much better if you imagine the Darth Vader Theme playing in the background) It is my mission to seek out common sense wherever it may be found... AND DESTROY IT! I will find efficiency no matter where it hide... AND STAMP IT OUT! I will walk BEHIND the troops and saddle them with difficult jobs... AND DENY THEM THE TOOLS TO DO IT! I will smell out their "can do" spirit and initiative... AND SQUASH IT! I will bury them in request forms and requisitions... AND THEN LOSE THEM! I will evaluate them on things I know nothing about... AND FIND THEM DEFICIENT! I will inundate them with stupid questions... THAT I REALLY DON'T NEED AN ANSWER TO! I will assign them impossible deadlines for worthless paperwork and when they bust their balls to turn it in on time... I WILL SEND IT BACK FOR REVISION! When the revised copy comes back... I SHALL DECLARE IT MOOT! (Insert maniacal laughter here) I am the enemy of efficiency, the destroyer of common sense, the incinerator of initiative. IN THE NAME OF BUREAUCRACY EVERYWHERE... (work the imaginary Darth Vader theme music to a might crescendo!)I AM A STAFF WEANIE! Let no good deed go unpunished!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
I am staff weenie. (This works much better if you imagine the Darth Vader Theme playing in the background) It is my mission to seek out common sense wherever it may be found... AND DESTROY IT! I will find efficiency no matter where it hide... AND STAMP IT OUT! I will walk BEHIND the troops and saddle them with difficult jobs... AND DENY THEM THE TOOLS TO DO IT! I will smell out their "can do" spirit and initiative... AND SQUASH IT! I will bury them in request forms and requisitions... AND THEN LOSE THEM! I will evaluate them on things I know nothing about... AND FIND THEM DEFICIENT! I will inundate them with stupid questions... THAT I REALLY DON'T NEED AN ANSWER TO! I will assign them impossible deadlines for worthless paperwork and when they bust their balls to turn it in on time... I WILL SEND IT BACK FOR REVISION! When the revised copy comes back... I SHALL DECLARE IT MOOT! (Insert maniacal laughter here) I am the enemy of efficiency, the destroyer of common sense, the incinerator of initiative. IN THE NAME OF BUREAUCRACY EVERYWHERE... (work the imaginary Darth Vader theme music to a might crescendo!)I AM A STAFF WEANIE! Let no good deed go unpunished!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

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