I AM SOOOOOOO SHORT.............

I'm the only man able to walk under a bed without hitting my head

I can't ride the good rides a Six Flags

I would have to ask old ladies to get the dirty magazines off the top shelf for my shipmates

I was mistaken for grumpy

I could pole-vault with a matchstick

When I walk around the hooch my hoochmates scream, "MOUSE"!

I know what's the weather like down there

I'm knee-high to a grasshopper

My mother must have left me in the dryer too long when I was a kid

Everyone tries to steal me lucky charms

I can pose for trophies

I have to wear a sign that says "Don't Spit! I Cant Swim."

I can't decide if my head or my feet hurt

I hafta stand on a brick to kick a duck in the ass!

When it rains I'm's the last to know

I can do hand stands under the table

I whacked my head on the door handle.

My hair smells like feet.

I had to find a ladder just to flush the shitter

I can play handball on the curb

I can sit on a piece of toilet paper and dangle my feet

I needed a step-ladder to reach the urinal

I had to have the tailor put cuffs in my drawers

I hafta get a running start just to get up on the crapper

I damn near busted my leg jumping off again

People think my hoochmates are the Keebler Elves.

I don't even have legs, my feet are just growing out of my ass

You can see my feet on my ID card photo

I hafta look down to look up

I need a ladder to pick up a dime

I can sit on a nickle and swing my legs

my idea of extreme sports is bungee-jumping off a curb.

I hafta reach up to tie my boot lace!

Garden gnomes intimidate me

IT IS GOOD TO BE SHORT! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD