Just Call Me Pinkie!

Today, I allowed my guard down and paid the price. All that is needed is a moments complacency and I gave them and opening and they took it. After my daily work-out I moseyed my way over to the showers without a care in the world. I stowed my gear on the table, stripped down bare-assed nekkid and stepped into the stall just as happy as a pig in poop. I noted with satisfaction that there was no inevitable used band-aid floating in the obligatory 4 inches of cold soapy water at the bottom of the stall. However, in my own little world I noticed little else. If I had been paying attention to my surroundings maybe, just maybe I might have gotten out unscathed as it turned out, I wasn't so lucky. Without the slightest bit of hesitation I reached out and grabbed the handle marked "H" as I have almost everyday for four months. I gave that handle a hard twist in the counter clockwise direction and then it happened. Too my immense surprise and consternation, a powerful stream of scalding, heinously HOT water spewed forth impacting me center mass on the chest. I screamed like a little sissy girl and immediately tried to shut off the water. I was unsuccessful. Through the steam and pain I did manage to slap that fool handle right off the wall but it didn't stop that scalding hot water. With the speed and strength only possible through adrenal overload I launched myself, aerodynamically, hydro-dynamically and acrobatically, like a red-assed monkey, through the vinyl shower curtain while twisting myself away from the scalding stream of water, to the blessedly not scalding safety beyond the shower stall. It was a darn near thing. I was scalded from my left shoulder down my chest to my upper right thigh. A half an inch to the left and the precious "wee danglies" would have been cooked!

AFTER FOUR FREAKIN' MONTHS OF COLD TO LUKE WARM WATER WHO DA HECK DECIDED TO FIX THE WATER HEATERS!

My God people, If the "H" handle is actually gonna produce hot water then you need to give us some kind of warning! Someone could be seriously hurt, in fact, I was seriously hurt! Never in a gazillion years would I have been expecting actual hot water to be the result of turning the hot water handle, after all, around here the "H" on the handle stands for "not quite as cold". When I think how close I came to having a boiled sausage I get the shakes. You can't let your guard down for a minute. If the terrorist don't get ya, KBR WILL!

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD