Rules To Live By

At a time when most people are concerned with Presidential politics and the choices between they idiot who will wipe his butt with the constitution and turn our nation into a weak, waffling welfare state and the incumbent who is unfortunately ignoring the constitution on domestic issues and taking too many civil liberties for granted in the name of security, but doing a fairly good job prosecuting a correct on necessary war, I believer is time to put things in perspective and discuss an issue of real importance. We need to discuss The Code Of Forward Deployed Shower Etiquette. It is important to note that these are unwritten rules of conduct and as far as I know, I could be the first "visionary" to attempt to codify this fine example of common law. So here it goes:

1. Never under any circumstances talk with a naked shower patron

2. Never under any circumstances touch anybody else's stuff

3. Never under any circumstances make eye contact with any naked shower patron

4. Never to the absolute best of your ability touch any vertical or horizontal surface in the shower tent/Trailer with our bare unprotected skin.

5. Never be "Shower Shoeless Joe". Refer to rule 4

6. Always pretend that once a shower patron has completely dis-robed then they are completely invisible and act accordingly unless doing so infringes upon rule 7 (see also rule 1, and 11)

7. Never under any circumstances accidental or otherwise, make physical contact with a naked shower patron

8. If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP

9. Don't urinate in the four inches of cold soapy water at the bottom of the shower stall

10. Don't leave your bandaid floating in the four inches of cold soapy water at the bottom of the shower stall.

11. Never under any circumstances, no matter how accidental or justified, never, but never allow any part of your body to violate someone else's shower space.

Showers, civilization, are all about rules.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD