Evil Incarnate

The female mind is fiendishly clever in its dark intricacies. There I was minding my own business, enjoying a hot shower on a cold and snowy day when I was heinously attacked without provocation!...Well I might have said some wee little thing about a real mother knowing where the camera would be so she could take pictures of her precious ones frolicking in the massive amount of snow dumped on us yesterday and today...I am sure that innocent observation had absolutely no bearing on the brutal...Did I mention without provocation... Assault perpetrated on my person. There I was...Nekkid and Inverted...Enjoying my shower when that evil blackguard Bride of mine dump a full bucket of snow all over my nekkid fishbelly white physique!!!! You may not be aware of it, but that fluffy white stuff is pretty darn cold! I tell you I've seen plenty of pretty pictures of snow back in central Texas but pictures just do not convey the actual frigidity of that particular atmospheric product. I reckon it's gonna be a solid month before my wee danglies feel secure enough to migrate out from the back of my throat into their divinely appointed nether region. That ain't the worst of it! My first born... My loin fruit...My issue...My posterity...My beloved Chaos is a dirty COLLABORATOR! I cannot believe he abandon the Brotherhood Of The chromosome to assist a female in that low down dirty...Did I mention UNPROVOKED...Assault upon my innocent self. Where did I go wrong raisin' that boy up?

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD