It's A Mad Mad Monkey Mania
My staff believes I have a problem and you know what they say, "the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem". Here it goes:
I am obsessed with Monkeys!
Funny, don't feel any better. I still think monkeys are WAY COOL. Must not be obsessed at all. Speaking of monkeys, recently one of our Engineer SGTs had a close encounter with a some R.A.Ms (for those of you who don't have the monkey on your back of monkey obsession, that means Red Ass Monkey i.e. the stately Baboon). Whenever I go outside the wire with the engineers I always take some nutri-grain bars. Monkeys love 'em. Everyone pretty much always takes something to feed the monkeys with 'cause monkeys are cool. Our intrepid SGT was out on an inspection trip and of course he had some monkey chow for the local fauna. When he and his "force protection" came to a spot where the R.A.Ms hang out, they stopped and started tossing bits of fruit and nutri-grain bars out to them. Eventually, they had quite the monkey fan club around the vehicle too include what the SGT described as "Big Ass Bull Baboon" which climbed on the hood of the SUV. This is a bad thing because the Motor T officer gets a might torqued when the vehicles come back with claw marks on them. The SGT figured he could get the R.A.M.s attention with a piece of fruit that he would then toss away through window which he would lower little ways down (Monkeys are way cool but even I want to keep something between me and them). So he gently flips the power window control and low and behold its one of those fancy press it once and the window goes all the way down hooyahs. While his attention is fully on trying to keep the window up, the baboon swings himself onto the door and plants himself eyeball to eyeball with the SGT. So there he sits face to face with a large R.A.M. with a small slice of pear in one hand and the rest of the pear in the other. The monkey looks at the slice, then it's eyes dart to the rest of the pear. The monkey snatches the pear out of the SGTs hand and scampers off. In the mean time the "Storm Trooper" riding in the back seat is making himself very small against the far side of the truck and has his M4 trained, leveled, and safety off. Afterwards, the SGT explained that he didn't know if he was more frightened of the Baboon or the terrified soldier with automatic weapon in the back seat. Wish I was there, I like monkeys; also, it would have been nice to know if he was telling the truth. I would never question the SGTs integrity, but sometimes Soldiers do embelish a little. After all, it is only a second hand story and nothing that interesting ever happens when I go out. Oh well, makes for a good story.
On a lighter note, got quoted by Citizen Smash. Whenever that happens I get what I call a "Smash Spike" in my visitors. Daily traffic usually goes up about 2 to 400 percent for a day or so afterwards. Thanks Smash!
On the not so light side, there is a vicious rumor going about that the City of Lubbock is going to engage in prairie dog genocide. Say it ain't so!!!!!! Not Prairie Dog Town! I certainly hope it ain't so.
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
UPDATE......
Yep, they're gonna do it, or at least they're trying to do it. I think the bit about nitrogen in the water is pure bullsh*t. I saw more ground squirrels on the Tech campus than prairie dogs in Prairie Dog town. In fact, you probably get more nitrogen contamination from student urinating on the ground after Thursday night at Bash Riprock's. What's next? Pull down the Buddy Holly statue? Remove the Cookie? Or realign Will Rogers so Soapsud's ass doesn't point toward A&M. Shoot, leave Lubbock for a measly decade or so and the whole place goes to hell!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
I am obsessed with Monkeys!
Funny, don't feel any better. I still think monkeys are WAY COOL. Must not be obsessed at all. Speaking of monkeys, recently one of our Engineer SGTs had a close encounter with a some R.A.Ms (for those of you who don't have the monkey on your back of monkey obsession, that means Red Ass Monkey i.e. the stately Baboon). Whenever I go outside the wire with the engineers I always take some nutri-grain bars. Monkeys love 'em. Everyone pretty much always takes something to feed the monkeys with 'cause monkeys are cool. Our intrepid SGT was out on an inspection trip and of course he had some monkey chow for the local fauna. When he and his "force protection" came to a spot where the R.A.Ms hang out, they stopped and started tossing bits of fruit and nutri-grain bars out to them. Eventually, they had quite the monkey fan club around the vehicle too include what the SGT described as "Big Ass Bull Baboon" which climbed on the hood of the SUV. This is a bad thing because the Motor T officer gets a might torqued when the vehicles come back with claw marks on them. The SGT figured he could get the R.A.M.s attention with a piece of fruit that he would then toss away through window which he would lower little ways down (Monkeys are way cool but even I want to keep something between me and them). So he gently flips the power window control and low and behold its one of those fancy press it once and the window goes all the way down hooyahs. While his attention is fully on trying to keep the window up, the baboon swings himself onto the door and plants himself eyeball to eyeball with the SGT. So there he sits face to face with a large R.A.M. with a small slice of pear in one hand and the rest of the pear in the other. The monkey looks at the slice, then it's eyes dart to the rest of the pear. The monkey snatches the pear out of the SGTs hand and scampers off. In the mean time the "Storm Trooper" riding in the back seat is making himself very small against the far side of the truck and has his M4 trained, leveled, and safety off. Afterwards, the SGT explained that he didn't know if he was more frightened of the Baboon or the terrified soldier with automatic weapon in the back seat. Wish I was there, I like monkeys; also, it would have been nice to know if he was telling the truth. I would never question the SGTs integrity, but sometimes Soldiers do embelish a little. After all, it is only a second hand story and nothing that interesting ever happens when I go out. Oh well, makes for a good story.
On a lighter note, got quoted by Citizen Smash. Whenever that happens I get what I call a "Smash Spike" in my visitors. Daily traffic usually goes up about 2 to 400 percent for a day or so afterwards. Thanks Smash!
On the not so light side, there is a vicious rumor going about that the City of Lubbock is going to engage in prairie dog genocide. Say it ain't so!!!!!! Not Prairie Dog Town! I certainly hope it ain't so.
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
UPDATE......
Yep, they're gonna do it, or at least they're trying to do it. I think the bit about nitrogen in the water is pure bullsh*t. I saw more ground squirrels on the Tech campus than prairie dogs in Prairie Dog town. In fact, you probably get more nitrogen contamination from student urinating on the ground after Thursday night at Bash Riprock's. What's next? Pull down the Buddy Holly statue? Remove the Cookie? Or realign Will Rogers so Soapsud's ass doesn't point toward A&M. Shoot, leave Lubbock for a measly decade or so and the whole place goes to hell!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
posted by Ed | 3/04/2004 02:47:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home