This One Time, At Army Camp…
What kind of training? Army training sir!!!!
We got a training block off and then "THEY" came an told us we were gonna get special training instead of nap time. So we all got up and went and the instructor came and then another OC came and told him to go to another meeting and we had imaginary training instead
Got blowed up six times during dismounted IED training
Learned how to huddle around a flaming barrel with 25 of my closest friends
“We will be at the training site as scheduled and training will happen…or it won’t
Walked 300 yards to the hygiene pit only to find the mirror iced over and the water frozen
Learned how to brush sensitive teeth with ice
Learned that the second fastest thing in the universe is my a$$hole snapping shut…The fastest thing is the drop of nasty blue portashitter water splashing up
Got told over and over again that if I see a reporter in country something bad and explody is gonna happen
Army OC: “Training Group 7, you’ve gotta hurry up and get to bunker C for training!”
Navy Group Leader: “Which bunker C there are 1-7?”
Army OC: “I don’t know just pick one and hurry up and get there!”
Navy Group Leader: “You fellas just ain’t right”
“3rd Platoon, have your drivers get their HMMWV licenses and fall in with Sgt H for pre combat checks! The rest of the Company will start the mounted IED stick at 1300!...No Drivers!? What do you mean you don’t drive HMMVWs in the Navy!!!!!? Oh crap, I gotta call higher”
“3rd Platoon we will range BZO and qualify on your weapons tomorrow…WHAT YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ISSUED WEAPONS YET?!?!?!?! Oh crap, I’ve gotta call higher”
We got to watch a lot of captured hadji fill of attacks on U.S. forces. Two thing of interest were apparent:
1. The hadjis are really crappy shots
2. The hadjis have their own theme music
Each provision battalion is allowed two shower every other day. We have one shower trailer divided in half with six stalls per side. The females, each provisional battalion has about 6, get exclusive use of one side of the trailer for the first 30 minute of shower hours. This one night when it was about a gazillion degrees below zero there was a huge line waiting at the male side of the shower trailer and it was well past the first 30 minutes yet the females were still using there side. I got in line just about the same time the last female an AF Capt, entered the trailer. 45 Minutes later, I was still in line and the sole female occupant of the shower trailer was still in there. In about another 15 minutes of angry men shivering in the cold a mob almost formed that was gonna go in with pitchforks and torches to drag her out. What kind of selfish Yayhoo hold six shower stalls hostage with about 80 shipmates waiting on them in the freezing cold! I am sure she is a nice person but I don’t think I will ever be able to shake the primordial dislike for her the festers in my soul. As an adjunct, this particular Capt wears make up out here. Who da' hell is she tryin’ to impress?
“The sooner we get there, the longer we’re gonna hafta wait”
Navy scores on the rifle and pistol qualification courses were far above the Army average for a similar unit. In addition, we all were able to qualify on assigned crew served weapons…we kick a$$
Once again, to quote Bill Murray in Stripes”
ARMY TRAINING SIR!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
We got a training block off and then "THEY" came an told us we were gonna get special training instead of nap time. So we all got up and went and the instructor came and then another OC came and told him to go to another meeting and we had imaginary training instead
Got blowed up six times during dismounted IED training
Learned how to huddle around a flaming barrel with 25 of my closest friends
“We will be at the training site as scheduled and training will happen…or it won’t
Walked 300 yards to the hygiene pit only to find the mirror iced over and the water frozen
Learned how to brush sensitive teeth with ice
Learned that the second fastest thing in the universe is my a$$hole snapping shut…The fastest thing is the drop of nasty blue portashitter water splashing up
Got told over and over again that if I see a reporter in country something bad and explody is gonna happen
Army OC: “Training Group 7, you’ve gotta hurry up and get to bunker C for training!”
Navy Group Leader: “Which bunker C there are 1-7?”
Army OC: “I don’t know just pick one and hurry up and get there!”
Navy Group Leader: “You fellas just ain’t right”
“3rd Platoon, have your drivers get their HMMWV licenses and fall in with Sgt H for pre combat checks! The rest of the Company will start the mounted IED stick at 1300!...No Drivers!? What do you mean you don’t drive HMMVWs in the Navy!!!!!? Oh crap, I gotta call higher”
“3rd Platoon we will range BZO and qualify on your weapons tomorrow…WHAT YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ISSUED WEAPONS YET?!?!?!?! Oh crap, I’ve gotta call higher”
We got to watch a lot of captured hadji fill of attacks on U.S. forces. Two thing of interest were apparent:
1. The hadjis are really crappy shots
2. The hadjis have their own theme music
Each provision battalion is allowed two shower every other day. We have one shower trailer divided in half with six stalls per side. The females, each provisional battalion has about 6, get exclusive use of one side of the trailer for the first 30 minute of shower hours. This one night when it was about a gazillion degrees below zero there was a huge line waiting at the male side of the shower trailer and it was well past the first 30 minutes yet the females were still using there side. I got in line just about the same time the last female an AF Capt, entered the trailer. 45 Minutes later, I was still in line and the sole female occupant of the shower trailer was still in there. In about another 15 minutes of angry men shivering in the cold a mob almost formed that was gonna go in with pitchforks and torches to drag her out. What kind of selfish Yayhoo hold six shower stalls hostage with about 80 shipmates waiting on them in the freezing cold! I am sure she is a nice person but I don’t think I will ever be able to shake the primordial dislike for her the festers in my soul. As an adjunct, this particular Capt wears make up out here. Who da' hell is she tryin’ to impress?
“The sooner we get there, the longer we’re gonna hafta wait”
Navy scores on the rifle and pistol qualification courses were far above the Army average for a similar unit. In addition, we all were able to qualify on assigned crew served weapons…we kick a$$
Once again, to quote Bill Murray in Stripes”
ARMY TRAINING SIR!
TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD
posted by Ed | 12/01/2005 08:11:00 PM
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