I think I get the wrong end.

I this is the Bride. Reading one of my hubbies last posts. I think I am getting the wrong end of this deal. I have to pull down tree limbs and drag off them off the driveway when that ice storm knocked down blocking the way. I to try to help build a pinewood derby car for my son which lost and he said it is all my fault. I have to go without heat and deal with the oil company again and again. I have to deal with one thing after another. None of it is shopping except for food and grocies. It is not fun with three kids screaming I want this and I want that. They make me very mad at the store. Oh, when you cook food for them, one will say that is too healthy for him and he will not eat that. The other says that is too unhealthy and he will not eat it. No fair. No one cooks my food and no one does my laundry. I am jealous.

Okay, Now being serious. I miss my hubby. I love him.

AAAARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

WITH ALL OUR STATE OF THE ART TECHNOLOGY. WITH ALL OUR RESOURCES. WITH ALL OUR KNOWLEDGE…WHY CAN’T I GET A FREAKIN’ HOT SHOWER!!!!!

The lack of hot water is beginning to damage my calm.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Prelimninary Opinion

I have been in Iraq for only a week now but I can say with confidence that everything you hear in the press is ridiculously WRONG. Even being here a week it is apparent that we are winning the peace.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

The Adventure Continues

Yesterday we moved from Camp Striker home of the some Airborne bubbas near BIAP to the Iraqi Army Base at Al Taji somewhere north of Baghdad. It was an exciting trip because it was made by CH47 Chinook helos which bear a striking resemblance to the flying death trap CH46 Sea Knights that the Navy and Marines constantly drop from high places to sudden hard stop. I was more afraid of riding in that airframe than I was concerned about ground fire. Al Taji is home to the Phoenix Academy where we train the new Iraqi Army and train our own folks who will be their advisors. Of course true to form we sat on our a$$ for four days at Camp Striker waiting for transportation and when we finally got it we arrived in Taji at 0300 in the morning. When we got to the Academy we were informed that class started for us at 0800 that morning. The lucky ones of us managed to get settled in and in the rack by about 0500 for reveille at 0630. Went through the whole day of classes on about an hour of sleep in the last 48. Don’t remember a darn thing we were presented in class but we were there. Actually, got the first insight into what it is I will be doing. Apparently, I am going to be and “advisor” and all that entails. Our first instructor said it was a Special Forces mission but they are too stretched to do it at the moment so we were recruited. The scary thing is that my Team will be attached to an Iraqi Battalion sized unit. We will live with them, eat with them, fight with them, and basically completely embed with them. The General said that we need to stock up on Imodium AD cuz we are gonna need it. He also said learn to deal with man kisses, violation of personal space, and grown men holding your hand. Started studying T.E. Lawrence’s tenets for dealing with the Bedu, they are as insightful and applicable today as when they were written in WWI. I actually kind of find it amusing, first I was traded to the Army for a player to be named later and now I find my contract has been sold to the Iraqi Army…HA! The General put up a joke that I found gave me the best idea of my new job. It went something like this:

Airborne troopers jump on the snake and squash it

Armor drives over snake crushing it, giggle, and back over it again

Marines close with the snake kill it and eat it

Air Force PJs drop on snake, injure it and struggle valiantly to save its life

Advisors make conduct with the snake, train the snake, help the snake hunt down and kill other snakes.

My Naval career has hit a new milestone. I AM NOW A SNAKE HANDLER! I was still looking forward to good old Halliburton/KBR galleys but I guess I can deal; I do like both goat and rice. The one thing that did cause me a bit of concern; the general pointed out that 10 to 15% of Iraqi troops are probably insurgent infiltrators. A quick review of the math told me that if I am assigned with a 1000 strong Iraqi unit them only 100 to 150 of the people I am living with want to saw my head off with a dull knife.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

In Country

Greetings from Iraq. Still have not made it to my final destination but at least we are in country. We are living in temporary tent quarters while awaiting movement from our camp to our next destination. In the short time we have been here we have already been adopted by a stray cat. It first introduced itself to our females last night. In the middle of the night the cat cruises on into the tent and jumps up on IT2 B’s cot. The cat proceeds to crawl into here sleeping bag. Our heroin suddenly awakes because something besides her is moving around in her bag and promptly begins screaming bloody murder. Much hilarity ensued. In the morning the cat just cruises into my tent, which Det 1 (mine) and Det 2 are sharing, like he freaking owns the place. Firstly, cats are inherently evil, secondly strays are flea ridden disease vectors, thirdly I tend to love all animals and become very easily attached to them, fourthly that fool little disease vector is intolerably cute; therefore, I want all animals to stay the freakin’ heck away from me. The other denizens of my tent love the little sumbitch. They play with it and pet it and feed it but cats have preternatural senses. They know who does not want them around and that’s who they make it their mission to be with. Earlier today I was napping (I am real good at sleeping and ya gotta go with whatcha know) and all of a sudden…THUMP… Cat on my chest purring. I chase him off (gently cuz even though cats are inherently evil I still love ’em), a little later I was sitting on the edge of my cot reading and WHAM…flying cat banzai attacks my pillow and sends it flying off my rack. Again, still later I head out explorin’ with the fellas. When I come back, there is that dang fool cat lying right smack in the middle of my cut all curled up on my sleeping bag looking terminally cute with a bunch of jackass shipmates taking pictures of him. What does a guy hafta do the keep the cute fuzzies away from himself. I don’t know why but for some reason (known only to themselves) animals flock to me. Reckon’ I better bathe more often, maybe that’s the problem.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Northbound

Everyone around these parts always asks “when ya going north?” or says “It is dangerous up north” or “up north the haji’s are doing this”, etc. My battle buddies and I were talking about it and we were struck by how natural the expression “up north” seemed to us when describing something bad or dangerous. You see, we are all Southrons and we all just naturally considered the north as a bad thing. I guess my Bride is right…I am a bigot.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Dust

Had a dust storm today. It turned me and my M4 into a sugar cookie. I am so glad I bought some Wiley X ballistic goggles cuz the ones the army issues you do nothing to keep the dust out. There was a run on bandanas and recon wraps at the exchange pursuant to the storm. Go figure. I must admit I got one too but I also got one of those Middle Eastern desert shemaugh wraps. Its cool but I can’t quite figure out how to wear it. Too many moving parts. LT B proclaims that he is gonna wear his through airport on the way home. That and a black t-shirt. Looking forward to seeing the aftermath of that on the news. Guess I had best get back to trying to get the sand out of all my nooks and the better part of my crannies. Sand chafes.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

“Holy Sh*t!!!! We’ve Become…

**DISCLAIMER** Strong male language to follow. The author sincerely regrets the potty-mouth inherent in Sailors and all too frequently in himself. Also, any comments that may be interpreted as disparaging to women are deeply regretted but written in the context of the story being related. Please forgive me but that is the way we dick-heads tend to talk in a predominantly male environment particularly in Harm’s Way.

BITCHES!!!”

So we made it to Kuwait and were successfully trucked to Camp Beuhring were we trained a little but sat around A LOT. There just was not much to do at our little Army camp in the deep desert but we fell into a routine any how. One day my buddies and I are walking back from the little exchange on post and the conversation went something like this:

LT B: You know all we do is eat, shop and spend too much money buying stuff for our uniforms.

LT L: And talk on the phone and talk about how we are gonna get our hair cut.

LT B: Yeah, and we always seem to go to the head together.

Me: Eat, shop, accessorize, talk on the phone, talk about hair, go to the head in packs…hmmm

All of us: HOLY SH*T…WE’VE BECOME BITCHES

At that point we endeavored only to manly things in manly ways. I have heard it said that war changes a man but this is ridiculous.

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

In Iraq

Greetings, am in country and doing the WAITEX. Have several posts but since I am using MWR computers I can't use my memory stick. They will have to wait until I have better connection. Hope all are well

TO THE TYRANT NEVER YIELD

Like Father Like Son

Okay. I have to share some with you all. I am laughing and I cannot stop the power to be around here. My nine year son goes to a public school up here in CT. I have had to tell him all the time to stop with the Civil War stuff at school. I know he and his Dad are complete Civil War buffs but he does not need to press issues at school. As his Dad says, "actual learning has no place iin government education". They have a little class paper that his teacher gives out every Friday and it goes home with the students. Well, this week, I was talking to him about Lee/Jackson Day (in VA his old school celebrated the holiday). We started to talk about it, but did not know until this morning that this is what he work for his school newspaper. This is what it said:

THE CIVIL WAR
General Lee's and Stonewall Jackson's birthdays are this weekend. My Mom told that on Wednesday. Stonewall Jackson got "stonewall" in his name because of one of his battles during the Civil War when the Confederate army was retreating. Jackson stood like a stonewall after the battle, and ordered his men to charge, After that Jackson was called Stonewall Jackson.
-by Chaos

He is determined to give these student a history lesson from the Southron point of veiw.

Ed is doing fine and is glad to be finally doing his thing. He is still not at his finally destinations but he is in the theater. Still not working, just doing the WAITEX. We are proud of him.